Third Time

Is, apparently, really the charm.

I'm sure you've been wondering all week.
Just dying for an update on the fingerprint saga.
Because what else could you possibly have on your mind?
Other than worrying about my life?

So.
I, once again, put it off for a bit.
I'm phenomenal at doing that.
But I had great reasons.
Kinda'.

Monday, Ryan was off.
With the kiddos in school all day now,
we had a whole day to ourselves.
It was lovely.
I couldn't ruin that day with fingerprint taking.

Tuesday, no idea why I didn't go in.
I can't remember why.
I'm sure I was busy doing something important.
The kids were out of clean undies or something.

Wednesday morning,
I decided to follow Mr. Master Controller's directions.
I called.

Mr. MC: Detention Center.
Me: When would be a good time
       to come in to get my fingerprints done?
Mr. MC: Well...hmm...
              (big suck in of air
              and mumbling of something incoherent)
              If you could come in the next 20 minutes
              we could probably get you in.
              Otherwise the rest of the day is pretty hit and miss.
Me: I can be there in 10 minutes.
Mr. MC (actually sounding somewhat pleasant): Ok. Come on in.

Knowing I'm not looking near as put together today,
I ran to my bedroom to at least change out of my slippers,
threw my hair in to a pony
and off I went.
Naturally, I got caught by a train.
Fortunately, it wasn't one of those pokey ones.
Thank you, Mr. Engineer.

After a short wait,
a female officer takes me back.
Into the jail, I guess.
There's a whole lot of metal doors.
That are kind of that mint green/gray color.
And lots of glass windows.
And men walking around in orange jump suits.
Hello.
(Could have warned me about that one, Beth.)
I tried to avoid making eye contact.
And pretended like they weren't staring.
Shiver.

I'm so silly.
I was thinking I'd come out with black ink on my fingers.
Ummm, Gina.
You do know you're living in the 21st century, right?
It's a little thing called technology.
That, turns out, really isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Considering the system didn't like me.
And they had to scan ALL of my fingers 3 times.
As the guys in the orange jumpsuits continued to stare.
Fun.

Then, to top it off,
I had to pay $15 dollars for this service.
Should have known...

In honor of all the fun I've had,
I took a mugshot of myself.
Ha!

Now I am a pro at this detention center stuff.
But here's to hoping I never have to draw on my expertise again.

Attempt #2

I did not want to go back to the detention center today.
Especially after this comment to yesterday's post:

And, just for the record, at least when I had to do it -- they HATE doing them for regular, law-abiding citizens like us. And, although the state says to give your mail to them to put in the mail for you, they refuse to do it. I found them to be really hostile about the whole thing. I'll look forward to seeing how it goes for you!!

Thank you, Ms. Beth.

You gave me such confidence.

Ha!

I dressed even cuter today.

Just saying...

Put on a new jacket.

An adorable white one with a ruffles on the back.

Cuz you know, new clothes make you feel better about yourself.

Sassy, even.

I knew just where to go today.

Didn't run any yellow/red lights.

Wore my seatbelt the entire drive there.

Found a great parking spot.

And confidently walked into the building.

Through the metal detector.

And up to the window.

Mr. Master Controller: Can I help you?

Me: I need my fingerprints for a background check.

Mr. MC: Oh, we can't possibly do it before 1:00 today.

               You might even want to call before you come.

Are. You. Kidding me? (again)

How difficult can this be?

Of course, I called my hubby.

To tell him all about it.

I was in a store. 

He said: Just shop lift something.

              Then I bet they'll have time to get your fingerprints.

I was joking yesterday when I said

It would be easier to get arrested.

I'm thinking it's not really a joke anymore.

Maybe I'll Just Get Myself Arrested

I'm working on getting my substitute teacher license.
Fun stuff.
I have to get my fingerprints taken.
(Is that how you say that?)

I had to request a fingerprint card
from the Kansas Department of Education.
It came in a big envelope with the instructions
that I go to my local police department
to get my fingerprints.

I got the card in the mail on Monday.
And put off going until this morning.
There's no reason for me to be nervous.
Fingerprinting doesn't hurt.
I'm not a felon.
I've been pretty much a squeaky clean person
as far as the law goes.

I dressed carefully.
So I looked nice and proper.
And headed out.

I ran a couple errands first.
Post office for stamps to send the crazy card back.
Then the library.
(To drop off over due books...again)
I ran a yellow/red light on the way to the library.
And wondered to myself
if I needed to report that to the officer
who would be fingerprinting me soon.

The police station is cater-cornered from the library.
(Totally had to look that word up.
Pretty sure I've never spelled it out before.
Interesting.)
Parked in front of the library.
Dropped off my books.
Hopped back in the car.
(No idea why I didn't just park at one and walk to the other.)
Did not put my seat belt on.
And wondered if I should report myself for that also.
Turned the corner.
Pulled in to a spot in front of the police station.
Looked up saw a sign that said: Police Vehicles Only.
Wondered if I should report myself for that also.
Pulled back out and around to a legal parking spot.
Went into the police station.
Separated from the receptionist by a glass window.
And one of those little speaker things.

Her: Can I help you?
Me: Yah, I need to get my fingerprints for a background check.
Her: Oh, we don't do that here.
        You have to go to the Detention Center.
        The entrance is on the other side of the building
        a block over on 8th street.

Back in my car.
Pulled into the parking lot on that side of the building.
Noticed the sign: Restricted Parking, Authorized Vehicles Only.
Pulled back out of the parking lot.
Finally found a spot on the road.

Walked into the detention center.
A room with a whole bunch of chairs.
Some lockers.
All these brochures with titles like: Are You an Addict?
A door to the women's restroom.
A door to the men's restroom.
A door that led to an office.
With police vests and a messy desk in it.
But no person at the desk.
(That door was locked.
I know because I tried to open it.)
And a metal detector.
With a scary looking "window" on the other side of it.
Not really a window because you couldn't see through it.
But there was another of those speaker thingys.
There was also a sign that said: Master Controller.

Unsure what to do,
I went through the metal detector.
It made a loud noise.
And I heard a voice on the other side of the "window":
     Can I help you?
Shocked that I hadn't peed myself by this point, I say:
     I need to get my fingerprints for a background check.
Unknown voice: Thursday is the only day we don't do prints.

Are. You. Kidding me?
I have to do this all again tomorrow.

It just came to me,
I'm wondering if Mr. Master Controller
could see me the whole time I was wondering around in that room.
Like a two-way mirror thing.
Yah...
I bet they are still laughing at me.

Maybe I'll just get myself arrested tomorrow.
Pretty sure it would be easier.

A Whim

I'm painting a bed for Brookelynn.
That has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
Other than the fact that I had
white paint open this morning to work on it.

My pillars, that lead from the kitchen to the family room,
have been bothering me for a long time.
They are rough.
And nearly impossible to clean.
Those Mr. Clean sponge things just disintegrate.
As do paper towels.
Regular towels/rags just catch on them
and leave fuzzies all over.

There's a spiral of fingerprints on one.
This is where Jobie learned to walk up and down stairs.
Just two steps.
A great, fairly safe way to learn.
And this is apparently where Jobie learned to color with green.

I got to thinking while painting the bed,

Why not paint the pillars, too?

So, I did.

No more fingerprints.

A little sad actually.

But I know new ones will magically reappear soon.

No more green crayon.

That one is not so sad.
Hard to tell from the pics.

But they look so much better.

Yea for whims!