March 31, 2011

I Killed Stalker Cat

I did.
(if you are a cat lover, you may want to quit reading now)

For the past few weeks we have had an extra cat.
Lurking around.
It has been eating Mia's food.
Hanging out in our garage.
Staring at me thru the windows.
Everytime I was in the living room/dining room area.
If I happened to look out the window.
There was that cat.
Orange, puffy and mangy looking.
Always sitting in the yard staring at me.
I named it "Stalker Cat".

This morning.
I killed it.

Backing out of the garage to take Ezzie to school.
Thunk, thunk.

For a split second I thought it was Mia.
Then I saw Stalker Cat running across the yard.
Kinda' sideways.
It's back-end looking a little smashed.
Not good.

It ran to our hedges and laid down.
10 minutes later.
Still there.
I call animal control.
Left a message.
They finally call back.

They ask: Is it dead?
I say: I don't know.
I'm not getting close enough to find out.
But it hasn't moved for the past hour.
So I'm guessing it is.

They came.
Stalker Cat was placed in a black bag.
Put in the back of the animal control pick-up.
And away it went.

Bye-bye kitty.
Mia will miss you.Or, maybe not.
Since you were eating all her food.

So, I've felt a little out of sorts all day.
I didn't really like the cat.
But I wasn't out to kill the poor thing either.
Now, I'm a cat killer.

I figured I'd better do something nice.
Chocolate waffle cookies.
A favorite.
We haven't had them for months.
And Brookie has soccer practice tonight.
Her team loves them.
I tripled the recipe.
And now they are ready to go.

I will deliver them to practice.
To absolve myself of the murder.

Poor Stalker Cat.
Poor, poor Stalker Cat.


Amy said...

Corey says he is going to call you a murderer now. But maybe he will stop if you bring us some waffle cookies?? :)

Anonymous said...

Bummer about the cat! But, i tried your waffle cookies for a recent youth group event at our church. We love them now too! YUM!

Danielle said...

4 things - 1. I have missed you in blog land. I was just thinking this morning that I was going to email you if you didn't post something by the end of the day. You totally lucked out. 2. I love, love, love your new pic on your blog! 3. I'm not a cat fan. I find it toally funny and disturbing that you blogged about this in such great detail. 4. Mitch has never sat down to read any blogs with me but he couldn't pull himself away from this one. He laughed so hard! You may be his new hero :)

audrey said...

You funny funny girl!

The Bohrer's said...

I hit a dog on my way to Berean one morning. Looked in my rear view mirror and saw it tumble into the ditch. I felt so bad. Bob Church was in the back seat, so I had a witness, who liked to talk! =)Mark Groutas and Mike W. hung pictures of a dog in my locker all week long. =(

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Oh no!!!

I'm not crazy about stalker animals, but it still hurts me to have one killed. :( We've "lost" several kitties out here and it makes me sad. I'm guessing coyotes got them.