I'm having an identity crisis. This happens to me from time to time. I'm a wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, niece, friend, child of God. This I know.
Maybe, to put it more accurately, my blog and I are having an identity crisis. I think I'm still trying to find my voice in this whole crazy thing. I am not a writer, photographer, designer. I'm not clever or creative. I have a hard time expressing myself.
I'm also restless. Part of it is I'm ready for warm weather. Part of it is my "baby" is nearing his second birthday...he doesn't need me as much.
I want something to do. Wait. There's plenty to do. Taking kids here and there. Laundry. Cleaning bathrooms. Cleaning out the fridge and pantry. Sweeping. Vacuuming. Dusting. Cooking. My house is far from perfect.
So, allow me to rephrase my previous statement. I want something NEW to do. But, I still want to be a stay-at-home-mom.
Seriously, couldn't we have come up with a better name by now? There are days I wish I could just stay home. Then again, there are days that I would like nothing better than to stay home all day...by myself or, better yet, just me and my guy. And, then, there are those mornings when I wish I was the one driving away to a different job, any job.
But, I digress...and ramble.
I truly am so glad I can be at home. I love my husband, my kids, my family, my house, my church. And, now, that I've put this all down on "paper" I’m beginning to realize what my problem is. I don’t necessarily need something new to do; I need a new perspective. Or a renewed perspective.
I’ve been comparing myself and my blog to other blogs. And even to the posts my guy made before I took over. Why must I compare myself to others?
Maybe I’m not the most eloquent, engaging writer. I’m terrible at journaling, keeping a diary, scrapbooking and, sadly, even baby books. My main purpose for “taking over” this blog was to have some kind of documentation of our kids and this seemed like the most fun to me.
So, I will continue to write about being a mom, my kids, my guy. And, I will stop (try to anyway) comparing myself to others. God designed me just as I am and for a specific purpose. Right now, I believe that purpose is to be a godly wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law…you get the picture.
Ps. 138:8a The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever
3 days ago