Love Jesus Today and a Kiss

As I've said before,

I don't do new year's resolutions.

Why set myself up for failure?

I'm bad at following through on things.

Terrible at it, really.

So I learned long ago not to make them.

Within a week, or so, I've blown it anyway.

But the Holy Spirit has shown me 3 things already this year.

Areas in my spiritual life that are lacking or where there's sin.

Areas that I need to commit to work on/change.

Monday afternoon I was sweeping my floor.

Pondering my Bible study for the next day.

Suddenly, completely convicted by how little I pray for my kiddos.

This is hard for me to admit.

If I love God.

And love my kids.

Why am I not praying for them more?

You would think that would be the #1 thing to do, right?

It's easy to pray for them when things are rough.

When I'm frustrated with them.

Or when they are struggling with something in life.

Or when I see a yucky attitude or heart issue.

But the everyday.

That's when I...forget...

Everyday I send them out the door,

well, the older two anyway,

with a kiss on the cheek.

Then, as they are walking across the yard,

I holler at them:

Love Jesus today!

Immediately I turn back into the house

and rush the little boys to finish getting ready.

The older two quickly forgotten 

as I search for shoes, 

sign planners, 

finish packing a lunch,

wrestle with coats, hats and gloves.

Then it's out the door we run.

Walking as quickly as I can

with a 5 and 8 year old

across the yard or down the sidewalk.

(we always seem to leave the house

a couple minutes later than we should).

At the door to each boys' classroom,

I give them a kiss on the cheek,

tell them I love them

and head back out the door for my solo walk home.

Thinking about my day.

What needs to be done.

What's for supper.

How am I getting everyone to this practice or that practice.

Blah, blah, blah.

This imperfect mom 

had sent her imperfect kiddos

out of our imperfect house

into an imperfect world.

And was foolishly thinking

Love Jesus today!

and a kiss on the cheek

was enough.

Not nearly.

So thankful the Holy Spirit breaks through sometimes.

In spite of me and my foolishness.

It's only by the grace of God.

Now, each day,

as I kiss them,

I try to say a small prayer.

Of some sort.

Lord, show Jobie how to be kind today. 

Father, help Ezzie 

to show Your love 

to someone in his class today.

Lord, Jakie needs to
feel Your presence today.
Please show Yourself to him.

Father, give Brookie the courage 

to love the "unloved" or "unpopular" today.

I know there will be days I forget.
Days I'm rushing around like a crazy lady.
Days I'm crabby.
Days I'm just not thinking.

Thankful the Lord is gracious.
He won't let me, or my lack of prayer,
get in the way of accomplishing His will in their lives.
But I so want to be an instrument
to help draw them closer to Him.

So, I will pray.
Lots more.